I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Are we still banned from the library?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
