May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
