I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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