well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
