you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
