Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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