Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
