I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
