your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
