New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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