Apparently you make a good broom.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
