did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
