I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
