...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
