Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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