I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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