We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Boobs are out for the taking
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
