I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"