Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?