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I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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