just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again