She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.