Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.