she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.