Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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(949): View more from California

Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous

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(315): View more from New York

I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween

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(812): View more from Indiana

90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.

(765): View more from Indiana

Im so high

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