Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.