I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?