seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you will always have a special place in my vag
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Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
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A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.