I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
