Don't make out with my wife yet
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
