don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize
