my phone needs a breathalizer
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize