I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
