I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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