her vagine was all disorganized.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
