well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
