just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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