And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
