doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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