i was born a porn star she said
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
