are you still at the devil's house?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
