But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
