You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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