you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
