One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
