let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
