i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
