i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
