Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
