shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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