I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
