hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize