No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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