the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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