call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
