So drunk its hurt
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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