I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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