Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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