And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize