my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
