so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I FOUND THE LEGS
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Drunk is not a location!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
