I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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