apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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