I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
