It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
