She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
