At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
