I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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