wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
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Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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