Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
