and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
