She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
